Trailblazin Ministries Blog

Faith

Not Turning Back

Written by LaRosa Johnson
Saturday, 15 September 2007
Filed under: Faith, Ministry

Just some brief thoughts...

I remember when I met with my pastor a little more than a month ago to express my interest in becoming a part of their training ministry for pastor-teachers; basically I confirmed to him the calling that I firmly believe the Lord has placed over my life, and that I wanted to submit myself to being trained for the ministry. I remember one thing that he said during the meeting; he said that now that I had made this declaration that the angelic conflict would intensify against me as a means of trying my faith. And as I remember those words, it looks like it's starting to hit me from every which way. My finances are a wreck (excessive bills & debt, as well as constant issues [i.e. Robin's car breaking down] that keep us behind), my kids are trying me with their fits, my grandparents are in poor health. You name it, and it's trying me.

In many instances, it would be enough to break most men down, at least unregenerate men. But even with all of the stress that I have in my life, I have a great sense of peace in my life, a peace that truly surpasses all understanding. Instead of shedding a tears over my grandparents, I know that God is in control of the situation and that He will get the glory out of it, whether he heals them or takes them from me. About the only thing that concerns me is the eternal destination of my grandfather, who was never one to attend church; I just pray that he comes to accept the gospel. As far as my finances, I'm not concerned with that, and God always seems to have a way of providing for our need (not our wants), but everything we need on a daily basis is provided for without question.

Even in terms of ministry, God has been doing a work in me; He has helped to remove a lot of the stresses involved with that and taken me back to the primary focus, which is to teach His Word to the masses. Plus, I have a refuge in my job where I can go to just get away from it all, and not have any stresses. Not many people can say that, and I truly relish it.

Now I'm starting to see why the Lord led me to begin a study on James for the Trailblazin Ministries websites. In many ways, it has served as a means of preparation for what I'm now facing, as well as a constant reminder of the steps that I need to take to remove the sin from my life and walk in a greater level of intimacy with the Lord. The study at church on Psalm 119 has also brought another pleasant perspective that has aided me much as well.

All of that to say this: I don't regret the words that I spoke to my pastor. I take pride in knowing that I am being attacked because I am trying to accomplish a work for my Lord's kingdom. I know more everyday that in all of my weakness and I am made strong through the Holy Spirit that lives within me. By no means would I be standing in my own strength, but every ounce of strength comes from my Father in heaven. Thank You, Lord, I love You. I'm standing tall and I'm not going anywhere; I have my armor on, ready to face whatever might come my way.

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