Trailblazin Ministries Blog

Faith

Stepping Away from Church

Written by LaRosa Johnson
Monday, 08 January 2007
Filed under: Faith

For anyone that reads this blog, you know that for some time now, I have been struggling with my own ideas and thoughts about the church I currently attend. Well, after much prayerful study and discussion with my wife, we have finally decided together that it is time for us to leave this ministry and seek a new church home. Now, it's not 100% official yet, unless you consider the condition of our hearts; we still need to let our pastor/bishop know of our intention to leave the ministry, which I will do soon in a formal letter (unless he decides he wants to meet with me in person). Below, I'll explain the "why" of what made me decide it was time to leave. Have we found a new church home yet? The short answer is no, but in the meantime I will be studying and having church at home with my family while I search out for another ministry for us to join ourselves to.

As a bit of a precursor, there have always been things in church that I have not been completely comfortable with. In my youth, I shrugged it off as my own immaturity or lack of understanding. As I grew older, I basically just ignored it and no longer allowed myself to think much about it. Just recently, I have really begun to dig deep into the Word and my uneasiness could no longer remain silent, but I had to take my concerns to the Lord in prayer and to the Word. The result was my hours of study in the Word to look at just a few of the matters I had issue with, and I must say that the Word completely backed up my concerns.

Now, for the most part, I will say that these concerns I have are non-essentials to the faith, but they are matters that burn deep within me, at least more recently in my desire to seek after truth. Sure, the ministry is solid on the fundamentals to the faith, but it is these minor matters that I do have issue with. Normally, they wouldn't be much of a matter for someone to leave a church, but with the burning that I have inside my spirit, I have to go with my convictions of what the Word says and move in that direction or end up denying the truth that I have sought after. If I do not accept what I have found in the Word, then how will I be able to stand on the tougher issues? So, I need to make a stand here, at least for myself and what I have found the Word to say.

I must say, that it was truly a hard call to make because it practically means leaving behind everything I have grown to know and be accustomed to in Christianity. I have been a member of this particular church since it's inception almost 12-13 years ago; and been following the pastor for years before that. Everything I am now questioning or have issue with is basically all I've ever known and have been taught by my pastor, elders and Sunday school & Bible study teachers. In essence, it is a true faith walk to leave all of that behind and journey into the unknown; it's probably one of the hardest things I've had to do, but I know without a doubt that I have to do it, or endlessly stifle my spiritual growth as a result. Shoot, my parents are still members at that church (even after my dad was treated wrong, overworked & fired as their administrator some time ago).

Okay, I feel like I'm talking in circles here, so let me briefly deal with one topic that I have issue with: the gift of tongues (and the interpretation of). Like I said earlier in this entry, I've always, for the most part, been in churches where tongue speaking is prevalent and the norm. With that in mind, I was always uneasy about it, but never gave it much attention or thought. A few years ago, I had did a study on the passage in 1 Corinthians 12-14, and the little bit I did study appeared on the surface to backup what was going on at the church I attended; but I realize that I knew then that I wanted to believe in tongues (and desired the gift), so my study was a bit skewed to support it. Well, it came back to light recently and I decided to pick up the study again, now that I had more resources available to me to do an in-depth study, as well as the heart & mindset to do an unbiased study, since I was no longer swayed in either direction. Needless to say, my study this time around left me truly scratching my head at what was going on in the church I attended (and many many others I knew). From what I had studied in the Bible and church history, it just didn't support what they were doing.

I will say that I'm leaning more towards the gift being ceased (still undecided either way, until I do more study, but that's my preliminary finding), but even if they are still around today, they are nowhere being used as Paul had outlined for the church in 1 Corinthians 14. 1) There shouldn't be tongues spoken in church without interpretation (I don't see interpretation going on in these churches). 2) There should only be 2-3 at most speaking in a service, with each being interpreted (not the entire congregation). 3) Tongues should be one of the least desired gifts according to Paul, as its benefit is limited (yet there seems to be a very heavy emphasis on its manifestation in the church). Also throw in the fact that early church fathers appear to be agreed that tongues ceased during the apostolic age, and any group that did speak in tongues throughout history was widely known as heretical.

Anyway, that's just a brief (and I do mean brief) look at one of the things I have issue with. And like I said, in most cases it's considered a non-essential, but I really have had to think hard about this one because it's one of those things that really walks a fine line of being heresy (if indeed they have ceased). My line of thinking is this: if they have ceased, then what the heck are they doing today because it surely can't be of God?! That's part of what makes it so difficult to move on and make a decision because it means that I would no longer be agreeing with pastors/teachers that I have grown to respect over the years. But alas, my desire is not after men, but to follow God and the truth of His Word.

So right now, I'm a man without a church home, but I don't mind. I'm just praying that I can wrap up things at the church quickly so that I can continue to move on without being convinced or coerced into staying. In the meantime, I will remain diligent to my study of the Word and seeking after the heart of the Lord. I don't know what's next or what type of church I will even begin to look for, but I know that God will lead me in the right direction and to somewhere where I can use my gifts for His glory, and be like a tree planted by the river to continue my growth.