Trailblazin Ministries Blog

LaRosa

Holiness First...

Written by LaRosa Johnson
Tuesday, 17 April 2007
Filed under: Faith, LaRosa

"Holiness first 'til we're under the earth!"

That's the phrase that has been screaming & shouting loudly in my head for a while now, especially more so since copping Everyday Process' self-titled album a few weeks ago. And for me, the mantra has been one that I try to live by, but more recently has become a war cry in my daily battle against my flesh and other principalities. Before I go any further, I would like to say that it is my objective with this blog to be as transparent a person as I can be in both life and ministry, which is why I choose to discuss things like I'm about to share. You see, for me, I feel that transparency amongst brethren is one of those things that is greatly needed in the body of Christ, right up there with a solid Biblical hermeneutic and understanding of Scripture, especially for the new believer to see. I want people to see that, as a Christian, I am not perfect and I have struggles, but even in the midst of them I am striving towards holiness and keeping Christ the focus of my life. The disclaimer is now over, so let's continue.

Now, for those Christians who like to be honest with themselves, we would say that we all have sin in our lives on a daily basis; I would even go so far as to say that most, if not all, of us have a pet sin that we choose to not let go of because we like the way it feels or whatever the reason might be. I'll be up front and honest and say that lately I've been wrestling with my pet sin a lot more than I should be (without revealing what the sin is because that's not important, and I'm already being held accountable by my close brethren & wife). For me, it's one of those temptations & sins that I can let go of for a while with no problem, not even think about it for months at a time, but then I eventually end up diving right back into it headfirst before I even realize what a stupid mistake I've made, and then it takes me forever to get back out of, even though I'm "repenting" the entire time I'm in it knowing good & well that it's wrong.

What's worse about this time, is that I had told my wife that I wouldn't slip and fall again, and she had believed me, hoping that I would keep my word. Alas, I didn't and have become all too familiar with the words of Paul in Romans 7. Romans 7:15 sums it up perfectly when it says, "For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate (NASB)." That's how I felt when I fell into this sin yet again, even though I was taking no measure to even attempt to get myself out of it, and doing my best to keep it hidden in the darkness. On the one hand, I didn't understand why I was doing what I was doing, other than allowing myself to be a slave to sin (Rom 7:14) and that it was the sin nature still in me (Rom 7:16), but I did know that I was only going to get out of this with God's help.

True indeed, I thank God that I am in Him and have the Holy Spirit living inside of me. You see, it was the Holy Spirit that definitely got me out the sin I was in this time around because there was no way I was doing it myself, and He did it perfectly. Listening to as much Christian rap as I do (read: all day, everyday), I can't help but to have lyrics & phrases stuck in my head, as well as pulling a Psalm 119:11 with the Scriptures that have been hidden in my heart. So, what the Holy Spirit started to do was to use lines from songs, and even whole songs to begin to minister to me about my sin. Examples of lines would include "by the Spirit putting to death the misdeeds of the flesh," (shai linne) and "holiness first 'til we're under the earth" (Everyday Process). Then there were songs like "Bad Ain't Good" from Flame's new album and the entire Timothy Brindle project Killing Sin that constantly kept me enamored in picturing the disgusting slime & excrement that I was captured in. Ultimately, they didn't do much for me because I had numbed myself to it, except for one line, that I will make mention of later.

When that wasn't working, God decided to go Old Testament on me and give me a warning in the form of a dream. Now, normally I'm one who has crazy dreams and I normally don't end up remembering them, but this is one that I couldn't help but to remember because I basically woke up in a sweat after my alarm went off. This is one of those dreams that shook me to the core, even though I had no idea what it meant at the time I had it. Nevertheless, I felt like Pharaoh, Nebuchadnezzar and others who needed to have their dreams interpreted, and thankfully the Lord was able to grant the interpretation as I thought about the dream throughout the course of that day. Luckily for me, my dream was more like that of Abimelech who was about to sleep with Abraham's wife Sarah: a warning to not proceed, instead of a sentence of things to come. So once I got the interpretation, I had to think on it some more and really think to myself (read: battling with my flesh) and see if the consequences were "that bad." Being no fool, I knew in my spirit that I needed to shape up, but the flesh was screaming that I could live with the consequences if it ever came to that.

The dream and its interpretation wouldn't leave me, and then the next day I was discussing things with my boy Antoine, my spiritual twin brother, when the entirety of Everyday Process' album came ringing in my head, with the mantra of "holiness first 'til we're under the earth" screaming louder & louder in my head until I couldn't take it anymore. I had to tell my boy what was up and he gave me direction on how to proceed to "put to death the misdeeds of the flesh" and walk in holiness. So, I followed his advice, and was able to put to death that sin, hopefully for good this time, now that I'm surrounded by accountability and prayer.

In retrospect, it's still hard making sure that sin stays in the grave, but I know that it requires me keeping my armor on daily, and remembering that this is an everyday process. Like the crew says, it's a daily process of both elimination (of sin) and illumination (of the Scriptures). I realize that I fell because I had kinks & holes in my armor that prevented me from battling at full strength and I got hit at my weak spot, which I left wide open. I also realized that I fell because I hadn't been in proper fellowship with the Lord, not meditating on the Scriptures and praying to the Father like I should. Knowing this now and writing what you are now reading, I have a written account to refer back to whenever a sin like this tries to creep back into my life. Plus, I have an understanding that people are watching me closely, as a minister of the gospel, which means that I need to remember "holiness first..." all the more because I am being held to a higher standard and will be judged more harshly for my shortcomings when I meet the Father face-to-face.

If anything, let this be a lesson in walking in the Spirit. Remember that this is an Everyday Process in the Process of Elimination and Illumination; also that we must be Killing Sin daily because Our World [is] Fallen and we have to "by the Spirit put to death the misdeeds of the flesh" because God requires that we walk in "holiness first 'til we're under the earth." Amen? Amen! Soli Deo Gloria!